If I basically bounced between 5 significantly different cultures growing up, am I a part of all 5? Are the younger ages more or less important? What about language? Or just the level of associations I feel with individuals from that culture?

In the US I feel a pretty close affiliation with Americans... But in Haiti, I feel like I only want to distance myself from "American" but I can't escape the label. Even my father (born there) is "blanc" ("white") to Haitians. When I'm in the EU I sometimes try to pull the 'local' card by claiming that although I have a US passport, my father was born in Haiti and my mom is Polish-- how could I be "American"??

I'm a chameleon. I am not American, but I am: legally and somewhat-culturally. I'm also Haitian to some degree; I've lived there for more than a quarter of my life and in the US for less than half of my life. When I'm in Europe, I claim a multicultural state of being and nearly refuse categorization... Is that wrong? Can I be allowed to flow from culture to culture? Is that what's happening? Or is being a part of a culture "fixed"? Or is that just my affinity with that culture?

Interesting questions to think about...

I've spent roughly 7 years in Haiti, on and off, and a have a decent amount of family background from Haiti, so I suppose it shouldn't strike me as too odd that I feel affected by this quake... I was impressed to see Wikipedia create an article dedicated to this issue and I was more impressed to see that it was many, many pages long within 18 hours of the quake with updates and news on the issue and over 137 references. The Whitehouse website put up links to offer a few ways of supporting the humanitarian efforts now mobilizing. Why am I so interested and affected by this event?

You know, I have a lot of fun with questions like "where are you from?" or "where is home for you?" Sometimes I ask myself in complete seriousness "where the hell am I from!?" and sometimes it goes as far questioning "who" I am because doesn't the place your from define who you are? The answers to either of those questions can be long, convoluted and confusing. I usually ask a smart-ass question back to force them to elaborate. "where did you grow up?" or "where were you born?" are the two most common elaboration questions... sometimes it's "where's family for you?" or "where do you spend holidays?". Well, I'm confused - my genes, my childhood, my education, my linguistic background... it's all a mess. My genes 'cause I'm a mutt: half this, a quarter that, a quarter that that, and my childhood because it spans living in 5 different countries, linguistically because English is one of 4 languages I learned along with French, Senegalese Wolof and Haitian Kreyol... I'm educationally confused because I switched school environments 12 times before going to college! To say the least: I'm very confused.

So where am I from? Where did I grow up, even; you can see how I'd have a hard time explaining. When someone asks "where were you born?" My answer of "Washington DC!" doesn't quite quench their curiosity of wanting to learn about my background. I grew up as a multi-cultural, linguistically diverse kid, and I'm now a business process management software developer in Bethesda. How did that happen?

What has to happen for one to feel a cultural attraction to a society? Or what is nationality? National identity? Where is patriotism and how does that fit in? What makes someone a part of one culture and not another? Can one be fluid between cultures going back and forth? Does language have anything to do with cultural affiliation- or national identity? These are questions that I'd like to investigate further in a series of items titled "Nationality, Identity, and Cultural Affiliation". I hope you enjoy them.

This is the way of the future! ... or maybe the "future" is already here?

He opened the door and the bat finally made it outside.  My cousin looks at me and looks out into the hallway and with a quick shrug of the shoulders says: "well, it's their problem now" and slams the door shut! LOL

He walked up to me and starts ranting and raving about how this bat apparently flew onto him while he was laying down getting ready for bed and how he flipped out, flew to the ground, went into the kitchen--but it followed him-- ran back out.  By the time I came out I think he gained enough mental capacity to figure that he had to try to get the bat out of the apartment, so he opened the door (into the rest of the apartment building. Kudos Nick--instead of the balcony or something.. but nevermind that). Then he started telling me that we had to get Rabies shots because we were in the near vicinity of the bat.  I laughed at him 'cause his eyes were huge of a mixture of fear/excitement/paranoia/sleep-deprivation. I wished him sweet dreams and went back to bed. Bianca asks what the hell was going on - I explain briefly but we dismiss any concerns and passed out.

The next day he was scolded by his mother and our uncle (a doctor) for not having already gone to the ER to get rabies shots... sooo we prepped for the ER trip and made our way over there.  So let me outline a few points here.  First of all, because we weren't bitten by the bat, the potential of actually getting rabies is slim to null, but with something like rabies: you can't joke around.  And how could we get rabies without being bitten? Well, apparently it is possible (I won't go into the details, you can research it if you want)... and the biggest question was how the hell the bat got into our apartment in the first place (!)... no windows open, no doors, nothing. So we don't know how long it was in there, and that adds to the concern of potentially getting rabies.

9:10pm: We make it to the hospital (we forgo the local Prince Georges County hospital for obvious reasons and go to the Shady Grove hospital: a good choice - trust me). On the way there we pass a couple stores and I'm not sure who came up with the idea first, but we decided that we will definitely be wanting to reward ourselves with donuts after the shots. We get excited.

9:11pm: We enter and get processed relatively quickly.

9:13pm: We get our vitals taken, and we sit in the post-processing-but-still-waiting seating room.

9:14pm: A nurse has us follow her to the MITU (Minor Illness Treatment Unit) where we wait for a few minutes.

9:15pm: Bianca starts freaking out and begs me to hold her hand while she gets shots.  Nick and I are both trying to console her and tell her that it really won't be bad.

9:16pm: Nick discovers an unfinished bag of Cheez Its in the trash and is contemplating finishing them. "Who the hell doesn't finish a bag of Cheez Its??" he exclaims.

9:17pm: Another nurse/orderly walks up to us and explains that there are PAs (Physician's Assistants) available in Peds (the Pediatrics department). We follow her dutifully. (Peds meant that there were beds, nice doctors and walls painted pretty colors for kids to be distracted: AWesome!)

9:18:00pm: We arrive in Peds and walk past a couple rooms where doctors and patients are, and the last room was pass has an uncooperative kid being treated - he's screaming. He screams and yells, obviously resisting the treatment and crying out to be left alone and that he doesn't want to be touched. We nervously start laughing when no one is looking, but Bianca starts freaking out even more.

9:18:30pm: We all file into a room which has three beds in three alcoves with different colored walls: Nick's is blue, Bianca's is Green and mine is Pink (YEEesssss!!).

... and we wait...

While we wait, wondering if we should stay in our separate alcoves or if we can group together to talk, we continue to hear the kid next door that is yelling and freaking out. We hung out in Nick's alcove... he says that he thinks things will be fine.. if we make it out alive. My uncle TXTed Nick saying that the yelling next door were "the echoes of [his] yowling, pussy!". hahahah

Apparently the PAs were not quite available, and the doctors finally made it in at around 10:45 and drill us on what happened. Do we have any bites or scratches.  Where did it come from? ... when finished, they brought us over to a scale to weigh us. Now - apparently because of the possible infection, they had to give us two types of shots: the vaccine (1 shot) and "immune globulin" (which is multiple shots, but the exact number is determined based on your weight). They weigh us and tell us to go back to our room and wait for the nurses to bring the shots. By this time it's aorund 11:15 and we're waiting for the shots.

We all talk and joke about that f'ing bat that is probably laughing its ass off because it probably isn't infected and we're at the ER about to get shots. We can at least breathe a sigh of relief because the yelling next door finally has stopped. At around 12:30 a nurse comes in to ask us how we're doing and lets us know that she will likely be handling our shots. She explains that they have to order the immune globulin from a pharmacy and that it may take about an hour... so we wait. In the mean time, we made bets on how many shots we were going to be getting... Nick's bets were 3, 3, 4 (for Bianca, Nick then Me.) Bianca's were 2, 3, 4. I bet the same as Nick... but we were all off... very off.

The nurse returned around 1:30 and brought another nurse to assist... They had bundles of syringes and explained that we would all be getting lots of shots. The bets were very wrong. The final results were: Bianca: 5. Nick: 6. And they looked at me and said: "and  you get 7". SEVEN shots! F*ck!

They went alcove by alcove, gave Nick his shots, then Bianca then me. They had us lie on our stomachs to inject our tushes, then our back to get our legs, then they did our arms. These shots were "intra muscular" shots, so they were relatively uncomfortable because they go deep into the muscles. (and yes, I held Bianca's hand).

Just when we thought it was all over, we discovered that the heavens were frowning on us for some reason because (1) the Krispy Kreme was closed, (2) our butts were sore so every bump and turn was painful and (3) we hit traffic going back home. Traffic at 2am on 270! Traffic so bad that at least 15 cars reversed back from the HIGHWAY up the ONRAMP! ... so that lasted another 30 minutes or so, then we were able to make it home.

Now, with rabies vaccines, we have to go 4 subsequent times to get "booster" shots. Luckily we only have to get one shot for each of those visits, not multiple ones. Grand total of $1k+ ... and insurance doesn't cover much (if any of it). Woohoo!

Fucking bat.

This Just In: Sunday 8pm

Nick came out of the shower today and asked me to take a look at some marks on his arm and we took a quick picture of it. I can't find any pictures of other bat bites, but this looks like one to me!

There are some real ignorant people out there. And those that actually believe that Africa is a continent with many countries are the crème de la crème of ignoramus idiots. Let me set you straight: Africa is a country full of backwards peoples wearing nothing but cloth (if that) and hunt every day to feed their families. The average "city" is infested with AIDS, and the scenery is all pretty much what the Lion King portraid. It is the poorest nation in the world, and the 49% of the worlds diamonds that come from Africa are all blood diamonds. (Please don't believe all of the above).

I visited the British Museum and took a gander through the "Africa" exhibit - displaying all of Africa. I got to see lovely "artifacts" of seats that people used, and I could swear to you the title of the seats on display was something like: "African Chair" or something... the chair in the display was an damn stool- it wasn't even an articulately painted or particularly nice one at that. I mean - they could have had some write up explaining that these stools are still used today in informal settings and that some regions have used them for a long time-- but I'm thinking they may as well also put a four legged chair in the display and title it "African Chair".

Are you getting my point yet? Some individuals really have distorted perceptions of Africa - and not only Africa, but also the rest of the world. And some Africans perpetuate these silly impressions... I mean - I don't know how many Africans today actively practice animal sacrifices, but apparently the chairman of "Makhonya Royal Trust" (whoever the hell they are) -- apparently they (according to BBC) "co-ordinate African cultural activities" -- is quoted as having said "We must have a cultural ceremony of some sort, where we are going to slaughter a beast."... really? ... REally?? Oh dear... perhaps I'm fighting for a lost cause. Or maybe it's entirely an entertainment business and this chairman is just determined to entertain the world with something that once was a continental way of prayer and having everyone around the world pause and think: "oh my - all Africans perform sacrifices?"... and since this is fascinating, let's hire this Makhonya Royal Trust to have a demonstration of "African cultural activities" and show us how things are done in Africa!

I've tried, with everyone that I've interacted with on the topic of Africa and where I've lived in Africa, to paint a different picture than what they are used to. I really believe that one of the things that I enjoy doing the most is breaking stereotypes and getting people to understand that not everything they read about in the news or see on TV or in a movie is a blanket picture for an entire continent. What can you do though? How can just a few people change the way a world views something? Is it possible?

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Technology is relatively new - and the development of it is still "growing"... and our generation (those in their 10s and 20s) are going to (or have) developed such a dependence on technology that if it were to somehow disappear or go away, they would be clueless as to how to accomplish something an older generation did all the time.

On top of this, we can see how technological advances increase in relation to population, and that shows the tremendous increase in advances over time.

Now, technology aids us- there's no dispute there. Without technological advances, we wouldn't have so many helpful tools that allow us to be more efficient, effective and productive. I do, however, believe there is a threshold where we become negatively impacted by technology. These days, human interaction for some is marginalized because of social media tools. Reasoning and deductive skills may not be honed because we get information spoon-fed to us rather than trying to figure something out on our own. I'm definitely affected by this! Maybe because I'm biased I don't believe I have been negatively affected by technology - after all, I grew up in a technology deprived environment and didn't mind it all that much: living in Haiti, we experienced times where we had maybe 2 hours of electricity (in the middle of the night) every two days. On the other hand, now-a-days I've been nick-named "Mark-a-pedia" because when some topic comes up where we don't know the answers, I look it up on my trusty iPhone! And haven't you ever met someone who spends HOURS on good ol' fb, IM and Twitter? Imagine what they would be doing if that wasn't available to them? Gamers spending 8+ hours interacting on an online world rather than their neighbors in the real world. I'm content with reading a book, walking to a store (instead of driving), writing letters (instead of emails) and so on... but how would the next generation?

Now, I think I've painted the appropriate picture of those seemingly "castrated" by technology... now, who is whipped and who is making good use of the technology (and still have their... uhh... proverbial "goods"...)?

This subject was a discussion I had with a very good friend of mine Luke (I promised to credit him for the title of this article). Being a police officer in the DC area, he plays a role where the officers are able to look up data on computers in their police cars to determine if there's a warrant out for the driver, if the car has been stolen, etc etc. Now, comparing that to 50 years ago, the advances have been great! Now, when an officer stops someone and talks with them, they have to rely on instinct and observation skills to determine if the person is a risk, is hiding something or lying... but today the officer can just get the driver's license and run the data on the computer to see if there are any "hits". But perhaps this interferes with the enhancement of an officer's instinct and "6th senses". Does it?

I don't think many would argue with me that online social networking tools (Facebook in particular) can impact one's ability to be socially engaging. I feel like those that game online without a cultured up-bringing end up being quite socially awkward... and there are some positive effects of using both the games and/or social networking tools: the games will enhance hand-eye coordination and processing skills, and social networking tools connect friends, allows people to find friends that they haven't spoken to in years or see what friends in countries around the world are up to.

Technological Castration effects anyone that reaches the point of dependency on technology where it starts to negatively effect them in some way - most likely socially or professionally (ie: Facebook distracting employees from doing their work). No matter how you cut it, technology can help significantly; it can also impact you negatively. Keep your goods - be responsible (and grateful) for technology.

We have spent our history on earth commanding order over the population, restricting thought and beliefs. Fascinating, isn't it? Most of these people persecuted weren't physically harming others or terrorizing them at all...

So let me ask you my question: is there anything that someone can do that would not harm others that should NOT be a "human right"? Think about it. Is there a non-harmful way of life or action that should not be allowed?

Along with "human rights", there are some things in today's age that I feel should become a human "right". I feel like free access to world-wide media should be a "right" (as long as FOX isn't one of 'em... hahah - jk ;), and also free access to the resources and information. And perhaps "free" would be contingent on taxes -- by paying taxes in an area, you are able to receive these items. I think it'd be an interesting cultural experiment to see what would happen to a society if there were free access to internet as a "citizen's right" for an area. Why not right?

I recently started collecting this list of locations where I would want to update my password, and today I modernized my password for 25 different accounts. The fun part of this most recent update is that I made the password for each system unique. Call me paranoid, but this way, if my password was compromised somewhere, it'd be useless in my other systems.

Password Saves: Some people use tools to maintain all of their passwords... But that is dangerous because suppose you lose your password for the password save? Or what if you lose your laptop? I don't trust the password saves, and I also never save my passwords in my web browser... that's just bad news waiting to happen.

Am I too paranoid?

My Bubble: Take a minute-- we have established ourselves in society as such individuals that we require a huge space to live in (in solitude mostly). I believe I've already blogged about the space we waste driving SUVs, etc., but consider how so much of our days are spent standing physically as distant as possible from the people around you. Standards (even formulas) have been established to calculate what someone's personal space is; a certain amount of space around an individual where if it is breached by someone (other than family, etc.), the individual grows uncomfortable. If a stranger walks up to you and hugs you without intention, this is odd, right? They have breached the space considered your personal "bubble". Elevators and crowded busses are exceptions to these rules- or crowded subway trains in NYC. This cultural "common courtesy" is even applied to men using the urinal in a public bathroom! (For you ladies that don't know what I'm talking about: men try to have one unattended urinal between each occupied urinal.) It's awkward entering a public restroom to use a urinal where the two ends of 4 urinals are being used!

Thoughts: An individual or a company can have rights to a slogan (a set of words for crying out loud!) or an idea- a concept not yet implemented even! It's amazing, isn't it? I recently started inquiring at my work about my delving into iPhone development and how I want to make sure my work isn't compromised under any intellectual copyright mumbo-jumbo that was in my contract that I signed. I pulled up my contract and the section of interest states that anything I develop could be owned by the company. Interesting eh? I mean, simply because I am working at an organization I have surrendered at least parts of my freedom of intellectual property.

Words: Trademarking a word or a phrase has also been such an issue that there are legal battles because the name of one company is similar to another's. Or a product is named the same as some other company. What about slogans? If I want onto national television and got popular because I said "So easy, even Mark can do it!", I'm betting that if I got popular enough, Geico (if they were an evil corporation) could sue me (and win) if they were motivated enough.

It's interesting just thinking about how these intellectual rights come about and some take them so seriously. Now, I know that lots of this is cultural and they are more behavior patterns attributed to the "West" and so on, but that's my point.

Bianca grumbled and pulled a yuuuiiiee so we could get back to the Shell station. I hopped back out and slid into the store to ask the cashier if I had forgotten my phone there. Mr Cashier was not a native English speaker and so I did a little more hand movement and gesturing to get my point across and his response was non-committal, almost as if he didn't want to spoil a surprise for me. I was kind of confused at this point because I was more than 100% sure that I had my phone before getting to the store, and I was about 98% sure that I left it in the store... and then Oh Yeah! Wasn't there someone else behind the counter in the store when I bought my snickers?

When I asked about the other guy that was there (perhaps he knew where my phone was?), Mr Cashier's eyes lit up with excitement of understanding and started calling to the back "HAavvviieierrrr!!??". There was no response though, so I stood idly so he knew I wasn't going anywhere. I stepped to the window to indicate to Bianca that I was waiting for my phone. There was a relatively long silence in the store so I looked back at Mr Cashier and he promptly called for Havvy again: "HAaaaaaaavvvvvvviiieeeerrrrrrr!?!?". There was no response from our Big H, so our cashier dude just shrugged at me with a helpless look. It was obvious he didn't want to leave the register to go find this guy, so I was getting frustrated. I looked back at Bianca and I paused right away 'cause she has this look of daggers in her eyes with her phone to her ear- she starts using her sign language finger-spelling to tell me from behind the steering wheel "U-S-I-N-G" and "B-U-S-Y" ... I cocked my head to the side trying to figure out what she was trying to communicate and that's when I realized that she was calling my phone and there was no answer-- but not only that -- you know how when you call someone and if they're on the other line you hear a low pitched beep if they're on another line? Well, my great detective Bianca was two steps ahead of me.

She took the car for a spin and brought it around the store to take a look see to search for our ghost Havier. I waited in the store to put a bit more pressure on Mr Cashier to find him. 45 seconds later, Bianca re-appeared waving my phone in the air with the engine still going. I went out the store and Bianca started before I could say anything: "HE WAS USING YOUR PHONE!! I called and it was busy! So I went around the back and saw him-- he was LAYING on the floor! JUST LAYING There. His knees up in the air back on the floor just LAying there." She went on to tell her story about how she drove up to him to see if he was on the phone and found him to not only be using the phone, but oblivious to her too. As soon as she stopped the car she noticed the passenger side swing open undramatically (I guess I didn't shut it properly when I got out to go into the store... oops!). So before berating Havier, she reached across the passenger seat to shut the door embarrassingly, then leaned out her window looking at this guy on the floor and started: "Is that your Phone?!!? IS that your Phone!?" <pause> "I don't THINK so. That's my FRIENDS phone!"

Havier got up and handed the phone to her explaining that he was trying to call the owner or something. Bianca snatched the phone and peeled out to come pick me up. Once she explained all of this, I was half laughing my ass off at (1) Havvy with his knees up in the air talking on the phone, (2) it wasn't 2 minutes ago that I left the phone in the store, so he must have _really_ needed to call someone! (3) the car door swinging open when Bianca tried her dramatic appearance! and the other half of me was quite appalled at this guy's comfort with nabbing the phone and making calls so quickly. So yet again, I hopped out of the car and bolted into the store to find Havier with Mr Cashier.

Mark: "Havier?"
Havier: "Yes."
Mark: "Do you have a phone number for Shell Gas?"
Havier: "UUUhhhhh no."
Mark: "No business card? Receipt with a number? Nothing?"
Havier: "UUuhhh no...?"
Mark: <stare>
Havier: "Oh! I can give you number"

He proceeds to open a notebook to rip out a sheet of paper-- that's when I laugh at him (really! I did!) saying "No no no no... I want something where the number is written already". Havier remembers that he does in fact have a receipt template with numbers on it... so he gets one and hands it to me. I say thank you and leave.

In the car I call the number to file a formal complaint with Shell but it doesn't get to any prompt or a "Welcome to Shell! We'll be happy to--"... instead a guy answers the phone right away... a guy vaguely sounding like our buddy Havvieeeerrrrrr....

Mark on phone: "Havier??"
Voice on phone: "Yes??"
Mark on phone: "HAhahahah. Thanks." <click>

(The <click> was me hanging up). I dialed 1800-555-1212 to find the 1800 number for Shell, call them and file a complaint. The lady was very apologetic and very sorry. I was done with the experience so I just hung up - but in retrospect I should have milked it for all it was worth - like gas for life, or something. Before talking with the Shell rep, I looked to see if Havvvvvvierrrr had called anyone overseas or used up any crazy minutes -- but it was a weekend and they were calls to like Baltimore or Florida or something... but that was it. Thank goodness for "unlimited nights and weekends!" eh? lol.

Havier. PShh.

I feel like humans are still at a stage where we are "reactionary," and not proactive in performing great feats. If there was impending doom on half the population because of some virus, I believe that a vaccine would be conjured that could also be used to fight cancers and AIDS, or the common cold. If the planet was in peril from asteroids or a global catastrophe, I believe humans would be up to the task for finding a solution. My point is that we are a capable species, and when we let our creative minds relax, we spend our time focusing on the marital life of a stupid governor, the stupidity of a pop star singer, the bickering and nagging and lies from 24-hr media... But I believe that there is another step in evolution for humans to make. Another level of existence where we feed off of innovation and inspiration to accomplish new goals rather than fear and jealousy. We LANDED HUMANS ON THE MOON. 6 TIMES. And we're spending our days plastering a governor's love life all over the news? Really??

People ask "should we really be going to Mars?" For a huge percentage of humans, the answer is "no", and the only reason it could ever turn to yes was if there was a situation similar to the cold war. But what people forget is that while striving for such goals, inventions sprung out of minds around the world advancing our technology, teaching us new things and advancing our knowledge.

I think (hu)man(-kind) should be constantly looking to higher and further goals- sometimes unattainable at first glance- and reach for it. People need to consider the value and be open minded and forward thinking. No matter the goal, I think that achieving something is greater than saying no and passing up the opportunity to learn more. Achieving goals so fantastical are more interesting and appealing to me than trying to "save the planet".

That's just fascinating to me people think otherwise.

Update 7/22/209 12:00pm: And for these adventures or goals, I'm not only referring to space exploration or interplanetary propulsion (although these are big ones for me) I'm also referring to advances in atomic knowledge (Large Hadron Collider), the automotive industry (hybrid cars, etc), virus handling and vaccines, etc. There's a lot that could be done!

And the audacity to have such a vanity plate? That was honestly the tipping point for me. Honestly - I'm not always bitter - I just felt this was something I wanted to remember 5 years from now when I'm living somewhere where parking is never a problem and people are so happy they'd give you a parking spot if you wanted it.

Fascinating.

Well- first of all, I'm going to try to leave the discussion of religion out of this, but let's just say I think it's a shame that this idea (which you'll understand I think is brilliant) was first suggested by the Vatican.

Second of all, I think the UN should be the appropriate "solution" (but definitely not how it exists today!!)

I do think that today, a world economy is exactly what is needed and that the United Nations should get ripped apart and rebuilt with new 'powers' to take action on it's currently useless declarations and proclamations or 'condemnations'.

It's the way of the future. The concept of "democracy" needs a bit of work, but when it is ironed out (ie: everyone's vote counts) and those that are voting are knowledgeable about the issues, then it would work a lot better than it does today. The biggest problems are that: first of all, our representatives are overwhelmed; there needs to be more of them. Second, when a critical vote comes along, everyone should vote; but those that are allowed to vote must have some knowledge of the topic they are voting on. And lastly, none of this electoral college crap; it makes no sense at all. On global issues, votes within the nation would be rolled up to a national voice and the vote would be cast on the global level. Doesn't it just make sense?

The idea is that they will get their money back ('cause the investment is initially considered a loan) and then they get a certain percentage of royalties that I earn from the software I post for a certain amount of time. I am hoping to use the combined investments to purchase a computer, developing license and potentially additional hardware and I will have one year to dish out royalties to the investors. It'll be an interesting experiment because to provide me with enough incentive, the largest financial investor will have the right to obtain the laptop if I don't start earning money! Binding me is a very serious contract that a witness even signs!

This will be the first time that I've borrowed money from a friend or had a friend invest in me like this, but I really do think it's great incentive, especially if it's for a hobby that I convinced myself that I don't have enough time for although I know there is plenty of time in a day, or throughout a week for anything you are devoted enough to. Especially if I'm working only an average of 45 hours a week. It makes me think about how practical small business loans are, and also made me wonder if there was some kind of personal investment options that people have to borrow money, pay it back and then if the product is successful, the "interest" is paid.

What would you have investors invest in you for?

I almost feel like they're trying to bolster their public image since the train collision a couple weeks ago that resulted in several deaths. Metro definitely needs to improve many things, so let's see if they keep it up. My wishlist of things for them to implement: (1) online/web SmarTrip recharging, (2) improved rail management to speed things up-- why not have mote frequent trains on non-rush hour times with 2 cars instead of 6? (3) increased off-hours maintenance so elevators and escalators are all working.

Anyway- they've got room for improvement. Maybe they keep the bar so low so every little thing they do is a huge improvement?

OK Everyone. I'm sick and tired of it. So quit it. 8 out of 10 times I mention to a group of people that I sign, they have to come up with some story about their limited-to-non-existent experience with ASL and how someone who "knew" ASL taught them crude signs or how they respond with "I know sign language too!" and proceed to flick me off. Wow. Is 80% of the population like this? I mean - sure, it's funny to that person 'cause they think they're sooOOooOOOo clever... STOP IT. You are being ridiculous and (as a matter of fact) unoriginal... (I would get vulgar, but this blog is read by my family a lot.)

ASL is an awesome language - much more intricate and amazing than English (in my opinion), and it also represents such a beautiful culture that it makes me cringe to hear/witness anyone act so foolish. I know that when that person stops trying to impress other people around them, they get to the point where they settle down and can express how interested they really are. They ask great questions to broaden their understanding and learning about something amazing and great. Until they do settle down though, they are acting foolish. The 2/10 that pause and engage in thoughtful conversation are really fun to talk with right off the bat. The remaining 8/10 have to get the silliness out of their system before they can appreciate ASL- and some days- it's not worth having the patience to deal with them and it makes me wonder if I should be working on changing my friend-base. Unfortunately though, that would mean that they will not learn something new - instead they'll just continue spread the stereotypes they have about ASL, act foolish and disrespect millions of Deaf people and god forbid they meet a Deaf person and sign their stupid crude signs to them. (Yes, I purposefully referred to the deaf individuals as Deaf individuals because although "deaf" refers to the physical inability to "hear" sounds through their ears, Capital-D deaf refers to individuals that are a part of a culture of deaf people). Yes, it's a fascinating topic to learn about.

To those 8/10: grow up.

Aaaaaaaaahhh. That felt good.

As you draw the paths for these planes and watch them go on their merry way, it's a shock to the nerves when the fast planes appear into the screen and you must reroute all the other planes so you can get that liability down on the ground so that the rest of the planes are safe! It's awesome. One of the levels is an aircraft carrier, and it slowly rotates on the screen! It's awwwesome. Definitely keeps you on your toes. The addictive part of the game is that for each landing there is a calming chime and words appear on the screen as gentle rewards for each plane landed - the word that appears is some variant of "Welcome" in different languages. So with every landing there is some kind of reward- it keeps you going!

I've been getting ready to delve into my own iPhone development and this is just a reminder of what types of things make great, fun and exciting apps for the iPhone. Hopefully I'll be able to come up with a few that are worth buying online... we'll see I guess, right?

Update 6/16/2009: The name of the app is "Flight Control"! I swear - best $0.99 I've ever spent! =)

I always use the "I had a deprived childhood" explanation to convince people not to give me the look of death when I tell them that I'm not familiar with their SNL references. Other times I just fake it and convince them I do understand what their talking about "oh yeah - I know Will Ferrell's skit that aired July 21st! That skit was AWESOME!!!!" ... that usually doesn't go over so well though. In some rare cases I actually do know what's being referred to, and that's when I can take advantage of the situation and I play dumb. Unfortunately the large majority of cases involve Bianca... poor thing... She tells me that I either keep her young, or she'll die at a really young age... Let me explain:

A few months ago Bianca and I were walking through a parking garage and painted on the ground were yellow paths showing the inept how to find the entrance to a store - Bianca absent-mindedly made the following comment:

Bianca: "Oh - so I guess we just 'follow the yellow brick road'."
Mark: "??? what? What's that? This isn't yellow brick, Bianca... it's just painted yellow..." (that's the hook!)
Bianca: "I know thaaat! Haven't you ever seen the Wizard of Oz??"
Mark: "Wizard of Oz?? What the hell does that have to do with yellow bricks - or the parking garage??"

Claiming I didn't know what this reference was of, I asked for clarification. (For once) I knew what she was referring to, but played stupid to see how far she goes with the explanation. She went on: No no no - in the Wizard of Oz, there was [some d00d] that was looking for [something-or-other] and he had to follow the 'yellow brick road', and this became a popular saying, and... [kept going]. After about 30 seconds, I really couldn't take it anymore and nearly exploded with content and cruelty driven joy at acting like such a 5 year old. Bianca threatened me with immense pain for tricking her this way but then I play the "but I'm Cute!" part and it somehow spares me... barely. And so that's the cycle. It usually happens every once in a while.

[Updated 6/8 12:53pm Bianca informs me that the person doing the searching was Dorothy - so the "some d00d" reference was for the wrong gender. Apologies to any other W.O.O. viewers.]

Sometimes I use this same trickery to convince someone of the absolutely absurd. My cousin (Nick) received an "Official" Navy Seal watch as a birthday present that had Indiglo on the hands that was so bright, 2 minutes of light was all it needed to glow for like 65 hours in complete darkness (I'm exaagerating). My cousin bragged about this until I had enough of it (maybe 1.5 seconds) and so I started to tell him about how the chemical they use to do the glow-in-the-dark stuff is extracted from fire-flies. I tell him that the pigment is extracted from the flies and put through enhancement processes to make them more efficient. He doesn't blieve me up until the "extracting pigment" and "enhancing process" and the end of the conversation goes something liket his:

Mark: "... enhancement processes to make them more efficient."
Nick: "Huh... really?"
Mark: "No, you're stupid for believing me."
Nick: "Shut-up. I hate you."

Yeah... we have a love-hate relationship.

So, yesterday morning something happened. I ran. out. of. gel. This happens once a month or so and I thought not too much about it, since I walk by a CVS twice a day and I live within a 5 minute walk from 3 other convenience stores... Of course, my memory banks are not as sharp as they should be--perhaps in part because I spend valuable brain time thinking about my fantastic hair instead of using the time to allow the transfer of neurological data from my medial temporal lobe (hippocampus) to my temporal cortex (you get the hint)--but anyway I woke up this morning, and I remembered that I was gel-less.

I picked up my empty gel container and upon further examination realized that I was actually mistaken- I wasn't "out of gel," but rather the shape of the container and apparatus for squeezing the gel out of the container was not built to allow the user the means with which to extract the last bit of gel! Yesterday's gel obtaining experience was accompanied by the nearly obscene noises made by squeezing the last bit of something out of a container. But now I could see enough gel in the container, and no means to get it out! It looked mockingly at me, the manufacturers and their sick twisted schemes of "33.333% more! More for less!"... F*ckers. I figured: not only must I appear at work with my consistently amazingly styled hair, but I also know I am resourceful enough to find a way to obtain that last bit of gel and put it to use. Oh heck yeah, I'm not wasteful. Times are hard, my friend. Waste not want not.

I went to the kitchen, got a knife (yep, that's right) and sawed off the top of the container to allow me access to the remaining gel- it not only worked perfectly, I also succeeded in not waking up Bianca with my crazy antics (of the sawing and slew of curses) to screw with the manufacturers for trying to gyp me from my remaining gel!

See for yourself!

I may not have the best at water polo or base jumping, but I know how to be frugal, damnit. And this all leads to my attention to lots of wasteful ways manufacturers force us to adopt due to a lack of innovation and entirely a result of their laziness. Because of this, a large group of people will end up lazy and thoughtless to the environmental norms. How many cars on the highways have a 5-person capacity, but there's only the driver in there? Or is there a GOOD reason why we aren't using renewable resources by now? In reference to my previous posting, why aren't we using motion assisted lighting in homes and offices? *sigh*... wastefulness is a weakness, that's all I'm saying.

Update 8:02am: Bianca IMed me saying "it appears that extreme measures were taken to procure hair gel this morning" after seeing the sawed gel container and kitchen knife both on the bathroom counter. Hahahahah =)

But this made me think about how our society doesn't really encourage oral hygiene as much as it could.  I mean, why not teach kids that flossing and brushing can be a social event?  I'd say go as far as having floss dispensers at the dining table so that everyone can get their flossing in after eating instead of having toothpicks at the table... (they are dangerous tools! I mean - all I ever want to do [by the time I'm desperate enough to even get a toothpick] is to also get a hammer and jam that thing between my teeth so I can get that little piece of whatever-it-is out).  Also, why not have your toothbrush play a tune or jingle/jig so you're tempted to brush your teeth for the entire tune as opposed to letting you spend 0.03 seconds on each tooth.  It'd even promote the chances of entertaining moments when you catch someone dancing in front of the mirror!

Also, if we're so concerned with water usage, why not have motion sensors (that one can turn on) on kitchen faucets so that the water turns on only when there's something directly underneath -- 'cause when you're washing dishes, it's soooo annoying to have your hands all soapy and have to turn on and off the faucet.

Electricity usage?  It's soooo 1980's to have to turn off lights when you leave a room.  Motion sensors should be in every house allowing you to set a timer to turn off lights if there's no activity for more than 20 minutes.  Sound systems should also fade out when you walk away (or turn up the volume automatically for that matter).

This type of technology is around and isn't expensive... why aren't these mainstream?

In Peru, for a large portion of the trip we were with English speakers- the hotel managers in Cuzco, the family of the friend we were staying with in Lima- so I rarely needed the crutch of our guide book.  Thankfully before traveling to Peru I knew the basic language necessities (bathroom, beer, water, please, bye, thanks).  Amusingly, I knew them well enough that when I asked for or said anything that I knew, I was thought to be a native Spanish speaker!  I'd throw them off by saying (in, again, flawless Spanish) "lo siento, no hablo español. hablo sólo un poco español. sólo un poco-tito".  That's when I pull out the guide book and muddle and mime through the conversation, sometimes embarassing Bianca by acting things out (I always loved charades!).  But through all of these, culturally, I was at ease.  I knew how to be respectful of my surroundings so any local would not consider me disrespectful.  Deciphering conversation and learning a language through discussion is always an amazing experience and I have so much respect for the people that take the energy to explain something to me over and over (because it is exhausting).

And so culturally, I feel like I would feel quite comfortable in most societies in the Americas, Europe and Africa.  The areas that I imagine I would feel the least comfortable would probably be most parts of the Middle East and most parts of Asia.  The cultural and linguistic disconnect would be so sharp that I would feel uneasy unless I was with a friend that knew the area well enough.  One thing that solidified my perspective on my uneasiness was when someone that recently traveled to China described it to me like this: "you know - I 'get' Europe. When I walk around I 'get it'... but in China, there was a lot that I just didn't 'get'."  And that kinda scared me...

In addition to the paranoia of being abducted by the government (or anyone for that matter) and locked away without being able to communicate or understand anything freaks me out!  I guess I either need to travel there and learn the culture, or learn the language so I can somehow at least have some kind of hope that I can bargain my way out of solitary confinement in an Uzbeki jail.

This was ingenious. I've gotten free lunches, free drinks, cookies... great things! However, some people leave their computers unlocked as a hard habit - and they didn't keep up with their "offers"... so you have to get creative and instead of trying to embarass them with a free event, you have to do something to their computer that really trips them up. If they are not computer savvy, then you can play some fun tricks! If they know their way around a computer, you'd have to get really creative so they don't know how to undo whatever it is you do. I recently tooled a colleague of mine by configuring an "auto correct" rule in their office suite to auto-correct text as they typed to replace "a" with "Mark is AWESOME!". A simple sentence like: "It's a beautiful day out there, and a friend of mine brought me a sandwich!" would turn into: "It's Mark is AWESOME! beautiful day out there, and Mark is AWESOME! friend of mine brought me Mark is AWESOME! sandwich!"

Unfortunately he know right away who was the cause of this trickery, but for a while he thought it was a virus, or perhaps a .bat file that was running on the system and a simple restart of the computer would have solved the problem... but nope! After he got frustrated enough I undid the tool, he locked his computer when he left it for a while... but then that same afternoon he didn't lock! So I put in another auto correct for "the" -> "You should really lock your computer...".. he hasn't come across that one yet!

Perhaps a free something can come out of tooling someone, but in all honesty not locking your work station can be dangerous for security purposes. And it's not necessarily so important to lock your workstation when you are around family, friends, etc., but being in the habit of locking your computer so that when you do leave it somewhere and someone with malicious intent gets to your computer they can't do anything harmful. Security is key!

Auto-Correct is a great tool, but it can generally be fixed pretty easily. Some may react really well to the emails sent as them. Or another one I've heard of is taking a screenshot of their desktop (icons, etc) and removing all the icons into another folder and puting the screenshot as the background - that way they can't click on anything on the desktop. If the individual is not computer savvy, they will probably be confused for a good 15-20 minutes before calling for the Help Desk to help out. Do you have any other tooling suggestions?

I'm scared... because there are 40-somethings and 50-somethings that are putting very important and dangerous-if-not-protected information in places that can be compromised because they don't understand that the server where you host Terabytes of data isn't particularly safe in a data center with "Solid Steel doors, MOD trained guard dogs, 24 hour sentries, Military electro-magnetic pulse protection and infrared cameras". A filing cabinet in the same room would be more safe, because the items on the server are electronic and can be whisked out of that "CCTV monitored, 3m thick walled" safe without anyone noticing. (one data center)

Just over the past two weeks I read about how "spies" hacked into the power grid and left code in the network (!!). Or just this morning I read about (wall street journal) how TERABYTES of data on the Joint Strike Fighter (F-35 Lightning II) was siphoned out of the secure networks. You know how much a terabyte is? that's 1,000 Gigabytes. What's a gigabyte? ...A LOT. And "several" terabytes of data on the so-claimed "most technically challenging weapons program the Pentagon has ever attempted" were stolen from the surely incredibly *physically* secure servers that host this information. This all makes me very concerned. There are ways to keep the data secure. Someone can say "there's always a way to hack through security"... so what's the solution? Take it off-grid.

Imagine a gated community with all the *physical* security you want with no gates and no ins-or-outs. This protects the physical network from being tampered with, and it also keeps intruders from doing what they do best: intruding. When someone is allowed into the network, that means that someone has to physically be On-Site. And if something needs to be available to the world, you put that data on a public facing network. It *can* be that simple!

But in all honesty - in all truthfullness - how can the Pentagon not notice Terabytes of data be siphoned out of its network? Is it wrong of me to assume that they should be smart enough to know how to secure their networks? I honestly think (because I haven't been informed otherwise) that there are these people in positions of decision making that don't understand what the heck their doing and are compromising much too much data and many too many lives by being entirely and completely ignorant. When you make a decision to store data on a $300 Billion military project on a computer accessible to the internet, you have problems. Right? ... I know - I know - I'm ranting again... but honestly...

Article Updates:
4/22/09: Although it's not directly related, it still breaches "secure" networks: Brazilian Hackers hijack US Navy Satellites to serve as private CB communication network for more than five years

[poll id="1"]

I think there are distinctly different kinds of people that live in DC. Hopefully friends or coworkers don't get offended at this, but in terms of money and income, I do believe that we all get split up into two groups, then one group is split again into two more sub-groups. This division is how I perceive my districtonian life and world, and is also how I define my friendships as well.

Now I realize that I'm only focusing my analysis on those that live *in* the city, and also those that have an apartment or home they rent or own. Not people in NoVa- but actual Districtonians.

Main Groups:
Wealthy: "Limo or Jaguar?"
Standard: "Zipcar or Metro?"

The standard group is where the majority of us preside in. We are what everyone perceives as the "oil" for this very poorly tuned, badly maintained machine of a country. I mean, the US Government is the $3k crib put together by the father that is too stubborn to read the instructions! .. but that's a whole other issue... we are talking money and income... Three divisions of income. The upper tier is the "wealthy":

The wealthy group are those that rent or own a place in the DC, buy spend most of their time in NYC, and own a few businesses and regularly has a beer with a congressperson to discuss the things that trouble them... You know.. Like why the bell-hop gave them the stink eye that morning? o_O ... or why oh why did the stocks drop sooo much?

Obviously the "wealthy" group don't have priorities and couldn't relate to the average human, so they aren't important to my discussion. I'm going to focus on the "standard" group. Now, as I said, this group is divided into two sub-groups (2 tiers): "genuine" and "fake". The fake are the upper tier of the two tiered "standard". And the fake are more easy to spot. They're the ones that generally act like the "wealthy". They spend their private time conspiring how to work more to keep up their image, and go "green", shop organic and go to "cultural events" all the time and spend all their time boasting about how many things they are involved in and (here's the kicker!) they complain as much as possible about finances. So the genuine are the remaining of my analysis groups- and they are the cool ones.

So essentially, for those (that live in the city and are) concerned that I have you categorized in the "wealthy" or "fake" group, I basically consider the wealthy to be those that earn more than they deserve, the "fake" earning more than enough but complain all day about being broke, and the "genuine" are comprised of the people that make enough and know it.

I think the reason for my ranting about this is because I recently met a couple people that acted very fake and tried very hard to be so, and it bothered me and forced me to categorize them into a group that I could consider different from mine. I do think that they are a minority of the DC population, but they just have such a pungent, lasting impression... you know? ...At the end of the day, make do with what you've got, do whatever you want to be doing but don't boast. Life in the city is awesome, fun and engaging. Don't spoil every one else's time by being rediculous. Thanks! =)

We had a lot of help though, and I know that the move would have been much longer and painful without them! I'd like to give a shout-out to Katie A, Katie L, Danny, Beth, and most of all Nick-- Nick helped so much, he was a part of the packing process and also moving and even cleaning of the apt we were leaving. Awesome help! We started at around 8:30am and we carried the last bag of random crap into the apartment at 10pm... Talk of an exhausting day!!

In any case, we're now going to spend the next few days organizing our space and making sure we don't trip on ourselves!

The inauguration was amazing. We didn't even venture out to the front lines of the mall - we already knew that it was packed by 8am- so we settled (happily) with the area around the Lincoln Memorial. We made camp near a large monitor relaying the sight just under a mile ahead of us on the steps of the capitol. We could watch as our newly elected president made his way to the podium where he took his oath and then spoke to the citizens of this country, the citizens of other nations as well as all of humanity. He made many good points about collaboration between nations and even those that are not in alignment with the United States.

He's really what we need in this age to bring our nation to the next step - he is in fact the bridge between generations in leadership. It's phenomenal. We listened to his words echo over the millions that gathered, and it was electrifying.

"To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."
- President Obama

Below are (a lot of) pictures I took of the crowd and our group going down to the area. Where were you on this exciting day? Let me know - post a comment!

Cheers,
- Mark

Not to mention the thousands(!!!!) of people travelling here to be a part of the crowd- but just the excitement- I expect it to be emotional for so many people. I really do imagine that 70% of the people there don't even live in the district. There have been so many ads on Craigs List for people renting out their homes- apartments, condos, townhouses, row house, shack, basement, guest room or corner cardboard box. All of it is prime real estate - and even we are going to rent out space to NBC! A friend of Bianca's works there and when they saw how difficult it's been to get a place to stay, they contacted us to stay for a few nights.

Anyway, I'm excited. We're excited. I looked up the security plans published by the Secret Service for the inauguration and it lists everything down to "backpacks" as being items that are prohibited beyond the security checkpoints to get closer to the parade! So, all I'll have is a zip-lock bag with a sandwich or two and my camera around my neck - and that's it. I'd be content with seeing a limo zoom by at 80mph, so I'll be easy to please. I'm hoping to get some good shots out of it though. And I know people will think that I'm nuts for even bothering going down there, but the next day - on Wednesday - if I didn't at least try to go downtown, I'd feel like I really wasted an opportunity.

'Till next week!

The road, being 3 lanes (two in our favor), was lined with parked cars in the right lane and coming up to the light at Connecticut Ave., we needed to get in the right lane to turn south since the left lane was a Left Only lane... (Street View)... so Bianca pulled in behind some cars waiting for the light in the right lane. That's when things got interesting. The car parked behind us started wildly honking. Thinking at first that it was a car alarm Bianca set off with her crazy driving (just kidding B, your driving isn't crazy), I looked back expecting to see the flashing hazards and expecting the honking to turn to sirens and then all the other crazy sounds a normally unnoticed car alarm goes, but then I saw someone in the driver's seat... before I concluded that the passenger was trying to steal the car, I noticed that the woman was rather upset-looking! Well, any criminal would be upset if the alarm went off midway through their attempt- but that's when it dawned on us: apparently, what had seemed to be "parked cars" was a long line of cars with people in them, all in line for the turn!

Bianca and I could help but laugh (shortly) at our slightly embarrassed situation- we realized that we must have pulled in front of this car before they had a chance to scoot up from when the light was green earlier! So Bianca rolled down the window and waved a wave of "Sorry!"- (realizing in retrospect that there's no way to distinguish that wave from any other wave like "Pipe down!" or even a jubilant "Hiiiiiii!!!!") but she didn't buy it. She kept honking. Bianca said that she started to feel as is she had stolen the woman's first born or something!

The light turned green and no one moved. The line stayed still and looking ahead we saw that there was traffic on Connecticut, so the cars up ahead couldn't even make the turn. Honking brought us back to the situation, and now it was more than just the woman behind us. I was just fascinated at the short temper DC drivers had and watching Bianca stress out, I was thinking: "hey, this isn't worth it- let's get in the lane to take a left onto Connecticut, then do a u-ee and get on our way..." and we decided to go ahead and do that when angry woman go out of her car (not wielding any weapons- that I could see at least) and stormed over to us to use her voice instead of her horn (novel idea). Pointing back to the line, she goes: "all these people have been waiting- you're going to have to turn around and wait at the back." Not knowing what to say, we apologized nicely and said OK... Though it probably came out sounding more like a hesitant "uuuhhhhhhh oookaayyyyyy?" And we realized that perhaps she didn't scoot up to where we were because there was a driveway to our right... Sooo thaaats why....?

While crazy woman walked back to her car, Bianca looked at me and we tried to figure out what to do. I mean, how could they be so impatient?? Bianca started to maneuver out of line to get out of the line of fire. We pulled up to the light as it turned green, we turned left, made our u-ee and as we were finally going south on Connecticut we saw the line of cars still there and we started to think "wow- what losers- why don't they just do what we di--" when we realized that the end of the line was going into a Silver Diner looking car wash advertising "Brushless" care for your car (Street View)! Bianca and I both started with first "Ooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" then nervous laughter as we realized that first of all, those "parked" cars were all waiting in a car wash line, secondly, they were upset at our apparent attempt to "cut" the probably 40-50 car line.

But then (Bianca being an Anthropologist and myself being a Linguist) we started to think about how that entire situation could have been avoided. Obviously the only people that would know about the line being for a damn car wash were local residents. So why not put up temporary signs or something? Or wasn't it obvious that we weren't going to get a car wash as we had a 37" flat panel monitor sticking out of the trunk?? Or angry woman could have easily added the words "... for the car wash" in her tell-off, now THAT would have been helpful... Heheh... What a drive home that was...=)

Tonight I witnessed a man – a great man – Speak not only to the nation, not only to the hundreds and hundreds of thousands, but also to me. To me and Bianca in the living room of our Apartment in DC. After president elect Barack Obama's victory speech, Bianca and I could hear so much noise and commotion outside – honking, yelling, excitement. We went onto our balcony to hear better and it was just more confusion and louder excitement.

We ventured to the streets and we saw cars pass by blowing their horns and excited peoples in the street hooting and yelling, cheering and laughing. With tears in my eyes I laughed too.  In the heart of Adams Morgan, at the intersection of Belmont road and 18th Street NW, residents of Washington DC were showing how excited they were chanting “YES WE CAN” and cheering “O-BA-MA”. This country has a chance at change – Barack is right. We have a chance. Now. To make a difference. I looked around and stood in awe watching how one man's words – one man's Speech inspired and energized and mobilized so much energy! I was in shock. I am still in shock.

I am excited. And those of you who know me – you know how pessimistic I can be – how concerned for this country I have been… You know how excited I've been about getting my Polish citizenship finalized so I had a way out… but now I'm excited to see what happens. I'm excited to be here now. And I'm definitely excited for the change that will come. And I'm excited to be in DC at this time. All thanks to many people's energy and one man's Speech.

I think that the media is scared to be honest with the public about who is *really* leading in the polls and popularity. The vast amount of Internet postings not only pointing out the no-brainer flaws of one candidate, but also showing how popular and incredible the other is- it's staggering! The media is avoiding the truth to keep America on the edge of their seats. Let me explain.

What is it that the American people love in anything they watch on TV or read about in the papers? Something dramatic and something that sparks massive controversies and points for debate and discussion. Anything "moot" would be no fun. So the media (unfortunately) will take today's news and tell it like a soap opera- it'll read like a race between the two 'best' NASCAR racers the world has ever seen. In an attempt at maybe telling both sides of the story, they aren't telling you how damn hard it was to find the guy that vehemently supports the #2 guy- cause that wouldn't be "fair" now would it? And by "fair", I'm meaning that it isn't fair to the less popular candidate. But also- I don't think that the "race" is really taking place between the top two- I think it's between a "#1" and the runt of the "opponents". But Because maybe supporters of #2 happen to also be major stakeholders in the news agency?? (That's one question I wouldn't know enough details about to argue one way or another, but something to think about...)

But my point refers to how the public loves a controversy. If one guy was kickin' ass and takin' names then why flip to the news and see what the latest was every night? It's a done deal right? Otherwise everyone wants to tune in and see what's going on, and voilà! Higher ratings. More money. A mislead people. Zogby wouldn't be asked for the latest if it was a clear victory for one of them since the beginning, right?

I don't know about you, but there's been a clear winner since the beginning. No point in debating that- the media & the polls both want more money- that's obvious. And the only way they'll make more money is if people want the "latest", the "breaking news". I actually think it's just that simple.

My commute to work from central DC involves bus ride which brings me to my destination (as Carlin would say "What the hell is a 'Final Destination' anyway? Your grave?? It's your DESTINATION. Not your 'Final' destination!" hahah- what a riot! Check out his airline lingo and airplane safety (1999) skits). And that bus ride, 9/10 times has this one bus driver that annoys the hell out of me. As each passenger gets off the bus, she keeps wishing each passenger to "have a blessed day!" ...... Now- I get annoyed for two reasons... One is her -generalization- that everyone is catholic. I mean, would a devout Hindu or Muslim appreciate being blessed by a non-ordained bus driver? Now- I'm not that asshole atheist Dane Cook encountered after a sneeze, but really though... EvRy DaY bEiNg blessed by this woman, and she isn't being sensitive about it. I mean- what would be insufficient about just wishing that everyone "have a Nice day?". Yeah, well Carlin even feels like that's a bit too much too. Just too much pressure for me to ensure that I have a blessed groove for the day...

Another reason why it annoys me is that I can't fricken escape from the bus without her blessings. I have tried multiple times to get off that bus so fast to avoid it, but no matter how close I get to spraining my ankle, I can still hear her calling after me.

Quite honestly, I don't think I am first-hand personally offended... I'm more offended for the devout non-Christian that rides this bus and *is* first handedly offended. So what do I do? Leave it alone? Approach her? Tell her that I'm not catholic? Ride a different bus? Become more religious and grow to appreciate it? Heheh

First of all, having only 2 tracks for the Metro trains is really bad design. For any problems a train system may encounter, the third platform track is very beneficial and it also allows for an increased number of trains- and imagine how the system could benefit from that? Ever since the Metro system was designed, the decision to use a two track layout definitely screwed DC from the beginning- just like these guys who don't understand anything about ice and cars. Solution: Add a track. Yes- it's basically impossible now because they built a system that doesn't allow for expansion. Didn't they consider at one point that the system would become heavily used?

I once asked a train "conductor" how much of the train movement is automated vs. manned - and well, apparently it's a "joint control" system. Basically, the conductor sits in the chair, announces stations on the intercom, and looks out the window to make sure people have gotten on the train okay... and they can delay the automatic "doors closing". After the doors close, the train automatically starts moving to the next station.  I think that's a waste of man-power and money. Now, I understand employment is great for the city and the economy, but not when it comes to the point where it adds to the problem... Solution: fully-automate the system so you can save money and then use it in having more engineers to work on the following problem. Also, have the intercom announcements pre-recorded (as easily done as that silly reminder to move to the middle of the damn train).

And lastly, 70% of the time either the elevators and or escalators at a station are not working. And forget being in a wheel chair and navigating through the metro-- it'd be a nightmare! I already add 30 minutes to an hour for any trip I need to take with Metro - in a wheelchair I would only imagine you'd need to add anywhere from 1 hour to 2 hours. When the elevators are not working, you have to go to a different station and get a shuttle to bring you to your intended station. Solution: Fix them quickly- within 6 hours of them going down and have extras and equipment on standby at every station.

Are there any problems with these solutions? I realize that the first solution is really impossible, but are the other two solutions so unrealistic for a Metro system to employ? I mean - maybe Metro really wants to do all of this - but maybe they just cant because they're stuck. In which case they probably feel as defeated as O'Reilly during his interview with Stephen Colbert.

Now- when I'm particularly thirsty I make sure to ask for no ice- it dilutes the soda much too much. AND, if I'm drinking the soda when I'm not in the car (ie: not using a straw) I definitely don't "do" ice, 'cause it seriously hampers the deliciously sweet soda drinking experience. But- that's kind of irrelevant... kinda.. See, apparently Wendy's had a massive surplus of ice... so they unloaded the ice into our unsuspecting cups, and gave us a little soda, and by the time we realized what happened, we were well on our way (Lethal Weapon 4: "They Fu*k you at the drive through!!"). So while Bianca is driving along merrily, and as we're discussing the aerodynamicity and thermodynamics of quantum micro units of neutrino particles with incredibly strong pulsating magnetic fields, we were sipping our sodas. My tactic for getting the pounds of ice out of the way of my straw was to shake the cup to make an opening... you know what I mean- shake the cup side to side, and while the ice is displaced, shove the straw down to the bottom to meet: sweet sweet victory. Unfortunately, Bianca was driving and couldn't perform the same kind of tricky maneuvers, so she opted to just force the straw through the ice. A practice even I would do if I had one hand on the wheel as well.

So we're driving along, when after a straw forcing procedure, Bianca picks up the cup from its near-the-E-break cup holder for a sip, but much to her horror, the bottom of the cup seemed to have been half missing! The dripping Diet Coke was pouring onto her jeans! She shrieked to get my attention while I was off rambling on a tangent about the aerodynam--- oh right- and when I've figured out why the he'll she was waving her cup of delicious soda all over the place like she was trying to swat a fly with it (it took a second or so...) I opened my window and held the cup outside while we figured out the next step (meanwhile laughing our asses off) ... Bianca pulled off the road onto a side road leading most likely to some farm, and by the time she stopped the car, we realized that the cup holder had actually turned into a small pool, probably about 3/4s full... and thanks to the designing experts of the vehicle, the two cup holders had a connecting area that allowed wonderfully coke-drenched dirt to flow between the two holders... Yeah- that's what I call appetizing.

So when we figured out what types of resources we had (holy cup, straw, ice, 4 napkins), we needed to get creative... and unfortunately, the only spark of creativity we came up with was using the straw.... aaaaaand so being the savior of the situation, I started my task of sucking up this gross Diet Coke into the straw to its capacity (definitely trying to keep it from going into my mouth) and then spit it out outside the car. Needless to say, the random time it actually touched my lips, the grimy feeling I'd get was very unpleasant. But eventually all of the now-not-so-delicious soda was removed from the cup holders, and we could now use our 4 napkins to get the non-straw-friendly material. And soon... we were on our way.

I think we all- each and every one of us- don't appreciate being on hold. Unless they have some exceptional elevator music playing- or you need a few seconds to yell and let your frustrations out- being on hold is such a time-wasting device... and I'm willing to bet that cell phone companies pay for and encourage the use of that "hold" button those "customer service representatives" use. Because I'm sure 90% of the calls made to these companies are after 7:01am and before 9:01pm, and boy will you burn up your minutes!

However! It's not only the explicit being-on-hold, but also needing to "transfer" you to a different department.  Each call can take 20minutes *easy*.

First thing I do when I call a bank branch (which probably employs 4 people) and there's an automatic phone system: I *repeatedly* press the 0 button. Usually it works... Sometimes it hangs up on me and I have to call and endure the shpeel from the automated teller...

When I get to finally speak with someone- let's say our internet got cut off one afternoon (quite tangible since this happened last week)- and they ask you questions to validate who you are, then after you explain the situation, they start with the queue cards... and there are no skipping of the scripts! No matter how well versed you are on internetness and networkation, you have to turn off and then turn back on your router (or lie and say you did)... and it (again) wastes your minutes!

However- a friend casually came up with a brilliant idea, and I wonder if the telephone industry call center desk representative people have ever thought of this: a customer memory bank that would expedite a certain caller's wait time based on a scale that rates the person's knowledge on, say computers, Internet systems, etc.

I could see that kind of system working quite well except for companies where the call center receives calls that start processes (ie: insurance claims, FedEx package pickups, or Victoria's Secret phone ordering). But I can definitely see it working for companies mainly in the IT business and few other exceptions such as a bank's 800 number... -- and I feel strongly that a branch of a bank should just answer the fricken phones. If I wanted directions or hours, I'll look online.

Well, that's my semi-rant about these automated tellers. Now- then they start reading your mind, talking back to you and being smart, then maybe I would appreciate them more?

*flash-back with dreamy music*

It was a Saturday afternoon when we returned from running errands and we parked within a 2 mile radius of our apartment (which was AWESOME!) ... (yes, the "2 miles" is an exaggeration...). The spot we found was right in front of a church on Kalorama Road close to the intersection with Columbia Road. Now - I know what you're thinking: "Idiot! You can't park in front of a church!". Well... first of all ... ehh.. well... just don't jump to conclusions just yet ok?? There were signs in front of the parking spot that stated the rules for parking right there... and let me share with you what the signs said: "No Parking Entrance - Sundays Only"

Now - I take that to mean that on a *Saturday*, we can pretty much pitch a tent in that spot and roast some smores and the traffic cop wouldn't give a damn. Well - at least on that day, the traffic cop *definitely* must have believed that parking there on Saturdays wasn't allowed; 'cause we came back later in the day to move it closer to the apartment and we found a parking ticket on the windshield.

This is the sign- what do you think it means?

Now - Ooook - this may all seem much too much drama for a ticket - and I agree- I am being dramatic. But the point is that we were not in the wrong. It's the principle of it! So anyway - Bianca and I laughed at the situation... "Ha-Ha-Ha - silly Traffic cop... musta gotten confused or something..." So we went home, mailed the ticket in to the DMV with the "Reject" box checked along with a printed statement explaining that we were not in the wrong and I took care in drawing up a very nice sketch showing the street and yadda yadda yadda... Into the envelope, slapped on a stamp, mailed it and forgot about it.

*3 months later*
We receive a letter form the DMV basically saying the following:
1) We reject your "rejection" of this ticket.
2) Pay the @$!#%ing ticket within 5 days of this letter's date
3) *IF* you plan to appeal:
a) pay the ticket _anyway_
b) pay a court fee of $10
and
c) if we find that you are indeed magically and spectacularly correct int hat you were not at fault when you were issued this ticket, (which by the way may take up to 2 YEARS to figure out), we will reimburse you your ticket payment and your court fee.

Sadly though, I really do consider this response as "abusive" of their ability to issue tickets, and "wasteful" of not only my time- but theirs *also*. For 20 DOLLARS! I just wonder how much money they've LOST dealing with us! I am more inclined at this point however, to just say "Screw it, here's your damn $20 (which is I'm sure exactly what they expect). But let it be said: God help the DMV if I get another unwarranted ticket! I will hunt down the overlords of their so called "Department of Process and Integrity".... hah... "Integrity".

A weekday afternoon, Bianca and I got off the metro at Farragut West and walked to a bus stop at 17th & I (EYE), and we sat on the bench at the stop waiting for the bus. We were sitting there peacefully up until this guy - who was apparently in a mad rush - walked up to us and told us: "You know, a homeless man sleeps on that bench _every_ night!".

Not quite knowing how to respond to this very intense expression of concern for our safety, we kind of stared (a little bewildered, quit honestly) at our new friend who was soon looking at us with this look of impatience and frustration. "He's Dirty??? He's Nasty??" he prompted next - quite obviously trying to get us to acknowledge that... ehh.. well, *something*, but Bianca and I were still frozen in shock. Exactly like a deer in the headlights of a Big Rig thinking it's last thought: "Awwwww Fuuuuuu-"

Our friend honestly got so upset by our lack of response to his gestures of (What I'm quite convinced now was) good intentions, that he huffed *at* us (yes: AT us) and marched off just barely hearing my "errrrr- Thaaanks??". I was perplexed about this interaction and I'm still "digesting" it.

Bianca and I sat there in silence trying to figure out what the heck just happened. And over time we were able to discuss parts of it to figure it out... and we realized that the interaction was extremely informative about the way this individual perceived the world around him. He, armed with the knowledge that a homeless person slept on this particular bench "every night", was so concerned for our well-being that he felt it necessary to share this information with us. And/or- he must feel as though if the roles were reversed and he were the one sitting on the bench, then he would expect me or anyone else (that new of this information) would speak up and share that with him? And on top of that, I have to ponder how he himself would have reacted to that kind of news?

I understand this fellow is an exception to the cultural norms- I mean - I guess it isn't all that common to have that kind of interaction, but does this say something about the way (some) Americans perceive the homeless? Or is this how (many) Americans perceive cleanliness? I know it isn't fair to group all Americans in the same pool for some of these questions... but interesting questions none-the-less.

I'll post something here and there, as I get the spurt of energy (and time... *sigh*)... so enjoy what's here.

Cheers!
- Mark